Is there such a thing, I pondered, as my son left for college and announced that he was going to try to do his own laundry after bringing it home once, where I miraculously turned 4 loads around in less than 2 hours? But, yes, there was. In addition to the five love languages that have been written about and my psychologist clients attest to, there seems to be a sixth.  While I’m sure it fits into one of the original five, laundry I realized was the love language that had my name written all over it. After several weeks (ok, maybe a few months) of not having this expressive language at my disposal, I began to wonder what the expression of this language, aka need, would become.  Such a parallel to the necessary pivots we have to make in all facets of our life, whether it be business or personal.  Which segment to market to, which project to begin? There are so many decisions waiting to be made.

So, while I ponder my next love language, in the meantime I have to admit it is freeing to not have this language expression for the moment. And, of course, I will welcome the laundry when it comes home– but in a different way. As an act of love rather than a need to be needed love language expression.

Many things have changed in the world. No news flash there. Yet, some remain the same. I’m talking about societal which are often very personal. And there are no rules like those that accompany a woman’s purse.

Recently I attended an event with, you guessed it, new rules about purses. Unlike the clear purse rule announcement before the Taylor Swift concert, there was much discussion at this smaller venue as to what the situation would be. Many of us held on tighter to our purses as rumors started, some saying no purses allowed, some saying only certain sizes, etc. etc. One things that we as women had in common was that we all seemed to be in agreement with the fact that we really didn’t care for this ambiguity.

I begrudgingly took my purse to the car and wondered if I would need any of the things that I had brought. The honest answer is probably not. But the fact that I was asked to let go of my purse was unsettling. Kind of like life I thought. What goes into a woman’s purse is a lot like what goes into life. Some things are planned for, some things are just thrown in while others just end up in there. You never know what you might need, but you stock it just in case.

My goal soon (no I’m not committing 100%) is to go out without a purse and to feel the feeling of just winging it. Of course, I will have to make sure I have pockets, well, because that’s just the nature of doing without my purse.

Four years and he’s coming home. Reminds me of my time at college, but I was in a hurry to grow up and get married. Coming home after being away for four years will be an adjustment for us all, kind of like when we first became parents and when I started my business. So many questions, so much uncertainty. I share this with you because I’ll need the reminder myself as to how to adjust.

Go easy on yourself and others. Coming home is hard, especially if you have loved your time away.

Be honest with where you are at and support one another.

Know that you don’t have to have all of the answers– or even some of them.

Don’t look too far ahead. This isn’t a time to plan for the next five years.

What does 2023 look like for you?

Recognize that things are different than when you started this journey. Good and bad.

Most of all, be kind. Kindness matters more than money, fame, and any other quantitative measure.

Close your circle. Surround yourself with those who support you.

Take a chance. Only good things await you if you remain open.

Thank you MSU for giving our son the experience of a lifetime.

What exactly does this mean some may ask? Weighing the odds can look different ways depending upon both your professionally personally. For example:

Do I change professions?

Do I start a business?

Do I move and start over?

Do I need further education?

Whatever is weighing on your mind, there are 3 things to take into account:

How will my decision impact others (my business, the bottom line, my employees, etc.)

Is this the right time?

Is making a change right for all involved?

Can I make the move with the least amount of transitional pain and impact to those affected?

What seems like an eternity ago, I remember moving company locations twice. The first time it was smooth and organized. There was no pretending that it wouldn’t be an adjustment. The second time it was “sold” to us. Big presentations and fancy architectural drawings. And it was not an easy adjustment…but we weren’t allowed to feel that way. So, I ask you to consider the three factors before making a change and also remember that pretending in the end doesn’t work…..for anyone.

Looking back at seasons of life, there was one time in particular where I was at a crossroads. Between a bad break up and career burnout, I was seriously considering changing fields. Two years later, 50 hours of service in the field I was considering, I decided to restart my MBA. Shortly after, life delivered more than I could have imagined. The timing, not my timing, but the right timing, was everything. I still carry memories from those days of trying this and trying that. In the end, taking the road less traveled allowed me to be there for my mom who was dying of cancer. The timing of my new position was perfect. Travel wasn’t required and I was able to be there for her and help her through her very short but trying journey.

These days when I find myself in transition, I have to remind myself that timing is everything. Perfect timing that can only happen at the perfect time. Looking in the rearview mirror, it is easy to see. Patience for the right timing is the answer every time.

Referred to as transitions by the mainstream, I prefer to call these times of change “in between”. Transition assumes you know what is next; In between, on the other hand, leaves space for not knowing what is next. And this is ok. Being open to what your higher power, in my case God, has in store for you takes patience and trust. Taking the next step can sometimes be as simple as doing the next thing. It will come. The rest is white noise. Listen. Watch. Surround yourself with people who have your best interest at heart. You’ve got this.

If the past few years have taught me anything, it is that the life we live is the one that is meant to be. From unexpected journeys to unexpected miracles, life has certainly delivered opportunities and challenges that I didn’t see coming. I have learned a few things throughout this journey and know that the time to share is now. But not by me. Rather, by those from whom I have learned so much through witnessing their strength amidst the storm.

The time is now to write your story. To the friend who has the recipe for success in a marriage. To the friend who has continued on her faith walk despite the loss of her son. To the sister who has given me a front row seat to her life changing walk with Christ. To the young women who have become like sisters to me and continue to walk their faith journey while raising kids and facing their own struggles. To the friend who’s wisdom got me through a difficult time when I didn’t realize how much I needed her. To all of you, and there are many more, your wisdom is life changing and needs to be shared.

So don’t be surprised if you get a call from me; A call to action to share with the world your personal story and the formula you have applied to this thing called life. Your roadmap might seem like common knowledge to you, but trust me when I say that this could not be farther from the truth.

One recent sunny day as I was leaving a store, I happened upon a striking woman with strawberry blonde hair and lipstick that matched her cherry red car. I commented that she looked beautiful and went toward my car. As I turned to leave, she let me know that this was the first time she had been out all weekend. She shared that the loss of her beloved pet had shattered her and it was all she could do to get herself going that day. I had spoken the truth. She looked beautiful. And she let me know that this was a game changer for her. So simple.

I wasn’t having a particularly good day, yet by stepping outside of myself to pay someone a sincere compliment, I felt better. And I meant every word I said. So, if I see you out and about and you have your red on, don’t be surprised if I call out the good I see– and know it comes from the heart.

25 years ago, I ordered a pizza delivery to my mom’s house. The streets were all torn up, and instead of going over there yet another time that day, I had more work and studying to do. I figured they would decline, but I asked if they would mind adding a gallon of milk to the order, and to my surprise, they agreed. This meant an extra trip to the store for them because, well, they don’t normally deliver gallons of milk. When I went to pay them the next day, I thanked them over and over again as that milk meant that I could get a few hours rest before heading back to take care of my mom, whom was in the throes of a move while dealing with a devastating terminal cancer diagnosis.

When I went in this weekend to the same pizza place to pick up dinner for my family, the memories of kindness came pouring in. No, it wasn’t about the pizza, which she couldn’t keep down anyway. It was about the kindness of strangers and the realization that, if you need help, you only need to ask. And that night I did.